Road Trip and Guys being Guys [ETS]

I just got back from my first seminary road trip experience. I figured that the road trips would end for me when I graduated from college but I have to say this was a good one.  A couple of my friends(JT English and Jared Perry) and I went to Atlanta, Georgia for the 62nd Annual Evangelical Theological Society (ETS) meeting. Sounds exciting huh?

Well it was. I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard I almost had to pull the car over. These were my favorite moments:

5) Eating at The Varsity. We were told that this is “a must” for those visiting Atlanta. I was told they served hamburgers and hot dogs so I expected something along the lines of Angry Dog or Twisted Root. So we arrived at our hotel and sometime around 9:00 pm we headed for The Varsity. When I walked in the front door my first thought was, This is not what I was expecting. There was close to 15-20 registers with people screaming at me, “What’ll ya have?!” I was thinking, Can I get a second? I have never been here before. Be patient. Then I realized they really only serve hamburgers and hot dogs—oh and don’t forget the chili on top. Needless to say… Tums quickly followed.

4) The ETS Bookstore. Call me a nerd, I don’t care because I love books. I know the world is going digital and you have 10,000 ebooks on your iPad but what good is that going to do you when an EMP takes out all our electronics? No good at all and at that point you will come sit at my feet and beg me to teach you. Well maybe not but for me there is something about real books that just can’t be replaced by a digital reader. The ETS bookstore was worth the trip and the price of admission because pretty much every major publisher was there selling their books at ridiculously low prices. I am not talking about those books that are on your top shelf that you might reference once every five years. They were selling anything from new releases to classics for great prices. **Next post I will put up the books I bought.

3) The three of us had just finished eating hors d’œuvres (or as the Chick-fil-a cows would spell Or-derves) with a few of our profs and were heading down to our room. We were on the 27th floor going down to the 16th. This hotel was packed out so it was nearly impossible to travel 10 floors on the elevator without stopping. On this particular trip one of my buddies was feeling particularly gassy and cut the cheese with a real cheek flapper on the elevator. He laughed at first and then the elevator started to stop on a floor that was not our own. My friend, seeing that he had been found out promptly exited the elevator, leaving me and the other guy there to claim it. The two guys that boarded the elevators dropped a view expletives and chose to hop of at the next stop.

2) On Tuesday night when we were making our way to The Varsity,  we ended up in an enclosed parking garage with no escape. After trying several floors to find a way out, JT decided to get funny on us. As Jared and I exited the elevator to look for the way out of the garage, JT tried to close the elevator door and leave us on that floor. However, at the last moment his conscience persuaded him otherwise and he stuck his arm out in the door to stop it from shutting. Much to his surprise the door did not stop and his arm got caught in the elevator door. I stood there mystified hoping that the elevator would not start moving with his arm stuck. Eventually he was able to pry the door open and free himself. This image shown here is how I choose to remember it.

1) The best moment was on the drive home. This is where I nearly had to pull the car over because I was laughing so hard. However, I cannot disclose who said this but let me clear the air by saying it was not me. Boy A says, “My wife often tells me how bad my farts smell, but I like the smell of my farts.” Boy B says, “Yeah, sometimes I like the smell of my own farts.” Boy A and I start laughing and Boy B says, “What? You said it!” Boy A responds, “I was kidding!” Poor Boy B. There was no coming back from that. For the rest of the trip any 3 of us would randomly start laughing and even now as I write this I am struggling to keep my composure.

You are probably thinking, Wow that’s a lot of gas humor. You are right. I thought I was past the immature stage where this type of thing is funny, but I guess not. So reader, please do not judge because you know that you are a little immature and crazy too.

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